The Hotknives - In The Papers Today

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Well the 2.48 was a minute too late
And the planning permission refused on the gate
Or the crisis with whatever food this week
Someone else won a million and blew it on shares
And the adverts for stair-lifts which glide up the stairs
And the bingo card inside is yours to keep
For the little old lady it was love at first sight
From the renegade butler who wore makeup at night
To the boy in the car, who was speeding by far
It’s just what they say, in the papers today
Giant bees by the thousand are making a swarm
And it’s nobody’s fault, just the winter was warm
And it’s someone famous' secret out to see
There’s a three hour delay on the M25
And a swimmer who’s ninety who’s barely alive
And a vicar who says mass on ecstasy
For the little old lady it was love at first sight
From the renegade butler who wore makeup at night
To the boy in the car, who was speeding by far
It’s just what they say, in the papers today
Glossy magazines with happy homes and healthy beans
People’s lives all stripped down to the core
Scandals, politicians and the faces on our screens
Designer suits and other suits of law
They saw Elvis again on the ten O’clock news
Though the desk would have covered his new blue suede shoes
Lord Lucan owns a pub just down the road
There’s a girl on page seven who’s covered in tears
Says goodbye to her man for another eight years
And a boy of three just cracked a complex code
For the little old lady it was love at first sight
From the renegade butler who wore makeup at night
To the boy in the car, who was speeding by far
It’s just what they say, in the papers today